Changing of the SEASONS

I have been in a hard struggle with myself the last few months. Been slowly going into this pit of loneliness and darkness and I havent totally been alert enough to understand why. Things have certainly been crazy in my life. We have had a lot of sickness with me, the kids, Sam, my grandmother. The death of Sam's uncle, trying to sale my grandmothers house and convincing her to sale. Work brings me down alot lately. The atmosphere at work is one of unease, negative and aggravation.

I have been praying, more talking to the God about my hurt and the pain that I feel. I feel that he is pulling me in a different direction. My heart is no longer where it needs to be. I believe that the Lord is in the process of changing the seasons of MY LIFE.

As it says in Daniel 2:21 "He changes the times and seasons" My season is coming to change. Not meaning the change of life, but a change in my life.

My heart has been heavy burdened and I have been struggling to figure out what is wrong with me. Im not satisfied in my current status or role that I live. Not happy with the mom I am, the wife I try to be, the child of God that I should be. Instead of letting go and following a way that if obvious, I have been worrying my self into a dark hole.

My husband doesnt wear his wedding ring, not because he doesnt claim me, but bc of his work it has before gotten his finger caught and bc of that he chooses not to wear it as a safety precaution. This morning I was drawn to his ring in my jewelry box. I looked at it and was pulled to take it and I have worn it all this day. Probably sounds corny but I did what I was led. Then this morning coming into town, we did our morning prayers and then we listen to AFR. This morning they were talking about marriage - how ironic. I have been called to pray over this ring today. Asking the Lord to bless this man, this husband, this father. Praying for a marriage of strength, a home of love and a marriage that will honor God and that I may be a wife that will hold my husbands heart to the Lord.

the show talked about the importance a wife has in a marriage. She is the mother, nurturer, the care taker, the emotion the love the kindness the doer and the giver, very seldom the taker. This opened my eyes as to the ring. I felt the urge to wear the ring this morning but now I understood more why.

I want to be home, I want to be more with my children, I want to be better at home for my husband, I want to care for my home the way God would have me do. I have been praying for a way home and I know that HE hears my cries.

I see the moving of this time, I see the change of this season in my life, before me I see God preparing a way for me to be a better mom, a better wife and better child to HIM.

Preparing a way for change, light upon my path and a new season is coming into my life. So excited to see the doors He is preparing to open for me.

Just babble, but it is of my heart. Just wanted to share the power of our Lord

Fall and FALLS

Fall is certainly in the air. LOVE this weather, love the smells that come with this time of year, love the colors that God paints the morning and evening skies, love the shades of color of orange and red that he lays on the leaves in the trees and on the ground. Only our Lord can paint with the colors of Fall.

This time last year I was pretty pregnant, almost miserable and getting very excited about the upcoming arrival of our sweet Sophie.

This time this year I am still trying to lose the "Sophie" weight and I still very excited about the arrival of our sweet Sophie and all the milestones that have happened.

Sophie turned 9 months old last week. Doesnt seem like it has been that long. It has been an emotional roller coaster lately. The ups are higher than high and a few lows that have wanted to hang around, but by HIS grace we have over come.

Some of our highs are that SOPHIE IS WALKING. Doesnt seem real. She still seems to small to walk, but over the coarse of a week she went from holding on to furniture and walking, to letting go and taking a few steps to someone holding their hands out, to pulling up and letting go and taking off.

Proverbs 3:23 Then you will go safely on your way; your foot will not stumble

I know that this is a new journey for Sophie, she will have many steps in her life and many falls to come. My prayer for her and Gracie and Jake is that when they FALL and stumble and feel on the bottom, that they will turn to HIM and know that HE upholds all those who fall (Psalm 145:14) and they will find HIS strength in their weakness.

Overwhelmed and Out of control

August flew by in a flash, now September is over half through and soon October and gobblins, November and turkey and December and Santa. Where is time going so fast. I guess it is true that time goes by faster the older you get and man I have been feeling old.

Things at the Hobson house have been, well in lamen terms - CCCC RRRR AAA ZZZ YYY- and that is putting it mildly.

Started with school and ended with a week in the bed being more sick than I have ever been in my life.

School started and we finally started getting back in the routine of things would unexpectedly Sam's uncle Ape died. This was such a shock. He was over at the house every single day, to this day I still wait for him to beat on the door and say "Wheres Sam" so they could go fool with them cows. Man I miss him!
 
Then I got sick with a really bad cold, fought that off - or so I thought, then I ended up at the dr with what they thought was a kidney stone - talk about pain - worse than labor pains is what I was feeling. Had some test done, turned out not to be a kidney stone, but a bad infection. After a week in the bed, tons of antibiotics and pain medicine that became my best friend for a few days, I finally recovered and feel great.
 
Sophie turned 8 months while I was sick. First month that I didnt get a picture on her (month) birthday. I did think about a couple days later and snapped one really quick, not the best but considering that I was highly medicated at the time, I think it turned out pretty ok

She is doing so much, taken a few steps, stands by herself really good, is very hard headed and very determined. And out of all 3 of them - she has been the loudest and most strong willed. Its gonna be a crazy ride with her.

To top it all off Jake has had strep (?) throat this week.

Crazy life, but I wouldnt trade with anybody

And with a big Grin my baby girl turns TEN

Cannot believe that it has been 10 years to the day that we welcomed a precious baby girl into this big ole world. Seems like yesterday that we decided to have a baby. Now growing up so fast, right before my eyes and im scared to blink fearing that I might miss something so special.

In the past 10 years we have watched her learn to walk, encouraged her to talk, then tried to convince her not to talk soooo much, she has fallen and almost bitten her tongue off, she has had stitches from falling on a fire hydrant at school, she has had the mumps, she has saved Jakes life twice (once when he fell off the porch and busted his head & again when he was 3 and put his head through the cord on a mini blind - she heard him struggling and was smart enough to cut the cord with some scissors) needless to say none of our mini blinds have strings on them anymore. She helped teach Jake to swim, she has learned all of her TEN commandments, all books of Old and New testament, has prayed for others, made others smile and loved more than any little girl I know.

She is the first grandchild on my side and had my brother Eric wrapped around his finger. She holds the key to her dads heart and is by far the greatest earthly blessing that I have ever had. She smiles with her heart and her eyes shine with His love. She can be moody and fussy but can be kind and giving all in the same day. With her curls and bright blue eyes she brightens the dullest of days. She can make me madder than anything (yes because we are just alike) and wipe it all away with a hug that goes forever.

To me she is bossy, to Sam she is baby girl, to my mom she is boss lady, to pops she is butterbean, to granny she is pretty girl and Pawpaw she is peanut. Jake thinks she hung the moon but they can fight like 2 caged hens, Sophie is still so young but I know one day she will want to follow every move she makes.

10 years have passed so fast but it has been the greatest 10 years of my life. She loves the Lord and holds him close and my prayer for her is that she will do all to honor Him.

Happy Birthday Bossy - Momma loves you 

Not ready for this

Well I officially have two kids in school.

Today was the first official day of school and so far I have not shed any tears (be proud) (but probably bc I shed them all the past 2 weeks). Jake started BIG SCHOOL today. He was really excited and did really well.

I had to go back to getting up at 5 (its been 5:45 all summer) but being the sweet little baby that she is Sophie decided that I needed an extra jump start so she woke me up at 4 (a.m. that is). Gotta love her!!!

Six a.m rolled around and much to my suprise the kids got up on the first call (oh to be like this all year) (i can dream)

Jake ran straight to get dressed, Gracie fussed about her hair, Jake played with Sophie so I could get breakfast cooked and Gracie fussed about her hair. All together and out the door 10 til 7 (hoping to beat the traffic)

Did really good, dropped Gracie off and Jake said I could take him in, but only 1 day, then he would go by himself. I agreed bc Gracie never wanted me to walk her in, she was miss independent from day one.

I made sure he could find the class room so I let him let (just to assure myself) and he did a great job getting us there. We met with the teacher and she showed him his cubby and commented on his nap mat (its really cute)

I helped him put all his things away and he kinda started to sink into his little shy hole (he always gets like that when he is uncomfortable). I stayed a few minutes and then asked him if he wanted me to stay or if I could go to work and in a low mumbled voice he said I could go to work. Was a little hard to leave, but I know that he is gonna have so much fun and meet so many new friends. Cant wait to hear all about it.

Gracie is an old pro. She got all her stuff together last night. Got up and fussed about her hair, and didnt eat any breakfast as usual. She didnt want me to walk in with her bc "SHE REMEMBERS WHERE HER CLASS IS" and she promised to make sure Jake got on the bus this afternoon.

Gracie is certainly not a little girl anymore, she will be 10 in a few weeks and I think that puts us at the beginning of the dreaded "PRE TEENS". I am most certainly not ready for that.

We said our prayers on the way to school this morning, I have really missed this part of starting my day. I pray that they both of a blessed school year and I pray also for the teachers, that they will help in guiding my children and give them the wisdom they need. I know the Lord has wonderful things in store for this year. May His protection, love and His light shine on their path and lead them in the direction He would have them to go!

Hard Working Man

Jake is a busy little man. Just like his dad, Jake never stops (not even in his sleep). He gets up on the weekends and where most little kids head to the tv to watch cartoons, Jake heads to his room to change clothes so he can go work (thats what he calls it anyways). He is such a hard worker and loves to help with anything he can.

Sam built him this huge dirt pile (most kids have sand boxes). Jake spends all his time out there. He has his bulldozer, his dumptrucks and backhoes, his little hot wheels cars and some plastic men directing traffic.

The other day we got this huge rain shower and it created a hole in his dirt pile. Sophie and I walked outside to watch him "work". He had built this bridge with his bulldozer so his cars could travel safely (his words)

This summer he helped alot in the garden with my grandmother. He loved picking okra and watering the flowers. He would remind her every night that they needed to go water the flowers

With it being as hot as it has been for the past few days, I have tried to encourage him to stay in a little more. It really hasnt worked. He is determined to go outside. He came in the other morning all red faced and wet with sweat and told me I was right, that it was really hot outside.

Yesterday we went and met his teacher for school. I can not believe that he is starting big school. We got the teacher we wanted which really made me happy. Just a few more school supplies to get today and we will be done.

Yesterday evening after we had gotten settled, he of course went outside to work. He said he had some "hauling to do". He was really working like a big man. Dont really quite know what he was doing but he was giving it his all.

He is so much like Sam. I know one day that he will make a great husband and provider to some lucky girl. He is a hard worker, a loving little boy and gives his all in everything he does.

Talking, Crawling and Mad bc we she is not Walking

Sweet Sassy was 7 months old yesterday (7/29). Cannot believe it!! She has changed so much over the last 7 months and even just in the last month.

She still loves to eat, although this week she has gone through a spell where she hasnt really eaten much. Im thinking that it is her mouth hurting. We still do not have any teeth, but she drools like a leaky faucet and knaws on everything she can fit in her mouth.

She is no longer inch worming her way around, she is really crawling (sorta). She does this thing where she gets on all fours, pushes her booty in the air and then pulls her feet under her and sits down, then goes again. It takes her a while to get where she is going, but with determination she gets there.

She babbles all the time, sometimes it sounds like she says words and I think Im crazy for hearing words bc she is too young, but I promise she says Hey, Yeah, nannie nannie nannie (for Granny), Pawpaw (sounds more like POPOPOPO) and mama and dada.

She is so active, she wants up, she wants down, she loves for you to let her walk by holding her hands. Jake has been a lot of help in this area bc he is the perfect height to hold her and not have to hunch over. She loves the walker except when she gets stuck between the chairs.

you have to watch her though, she loves to get under your feet and has almost knocked me down a few times.

She is really playing with toys now, loves music and dolls and her big brother. Gracie takes time with her in spells, but she has been so busy this summer with friends and going that Sophie has not been first on her mind. Gracie is good with her for about 10 minutes and then she has things to do.

Sophie is certainly a momma's baby except at 6:45 everynight. Its almost like she has a built in clock to know that it is 6:45 and other Granny's show is off so they are going outside. Its almost wierd this child. She will be fine and then about the same time every night she gets so ansy and then here comes Hazel to go swing and then Sophie is fine and dandy

She is just growing so fast, pulling up on things. She has let go a few times (on accident I think) but I dont think it will be long before she is walking bc she wants to walk SO BAD!

So in the last month she has conquered the crawl, talks almost all the time and throws one heck of a fit if you want let her stand and practice walking. She is certainly going to be my strong willed child

Overwhelmed and Overflowing

"I still remember, when 30 was old" I heard this in a song the other night and I cant get it out of my head. I do remember years ago thinking that 30 was old, so very old. Now that im 30, I dont really feel that old.

I do feel overwhelmed most days, not complaining (just have a full plate).

We have been getting ready for school to start (next week). What happened to summer vacation??? I remember not starting school until almost the end of August. The kids barely got 2 months for summer break (yuck).

This will be Jakes first year of BIG SCHOOL! Been having a pretty hard time with that. I know he will do fine, but I worry about him so much. I dont remember being so worried about Gracie bc I knew she could handle herself, but Jake is still so small. He is smart as a whip and I know in my head that he will be just fine, but the momma in me wants to go with him so I can make sure that he doesnt get lost in the big ole school.

This whole thing with my kids growing up has really been hard. I didnt realize how fast it would all go by.

Gracie starts 5th grade this year. OH MY!! I remember the night that Sam and I decided that we would start trying to grow our family, never dreamed then that I would have 3 children. I remember being in the hospital having this precious baby girl, who at the time we didnt know was a girl. I remember sitting in the tub the night she was born and balling my eyes out at the thought of her growing up, knowing that she wouldnt be a baby forever and that the time that I have to hold her would be limited bc she would be grown in a blink of my eye.

Although she is not technically grown, she is growing up (way to fast). She is slowly going from a baby, to a little girl, to a big girl to a young lady. And IM NOT READY!!!

I found myself watching her the other night as she slept and thinking back to when we brought her home for the first time. Scared out my mind to be a mom for the first time, worried I wouldnt here her when she cried, worried I wouldnt know what to do when she needed  something. Crazy things. I remember Sam not sleeping for the first few nights bc everytime she would make a sound, he jumped up to go check on her until finally he put her in the bed with us. (NO THAT DIDNT HAPPEN WITH JAKE AND SOPHIE) he was a pro at sleeping through all of their sounds (haha)

My beautiful little girl is about to be 10 in a little less than a month. Where has time gone!!

Now my sweet little Sassy (as we like to call her). If you had told me a few years ago that I would have another baby I would have looked at you with the thought of throwing a pie in your face. Didnt want any more children. I had finally gotten Gracie and Jake to a point of being self sufficient, they slept late on Saturdays, they could get a bowl of cereal on their own.

Then Sam and I went through a bad spell, didnt see any light at the end of that tunnel, but God is good and He pulled us through and at the end he placed a blessing on us that neither one of us could have imagined!

I was in total denial mode when I began to even think I was pregnant!! This couldnt be happening, not now, my other two children were planned by me and I was mentally ready for all that I knew was to come.

But the Lord had a wonderful plan of his own and in December of last year we were blessed with another beautiful little girl, who looked so much like Jake when she was born, It felt like DEJAVU!!

Couldnt imagine my life without her now. But she is not that little bitty baby that I so wanted to stay small, so I could enjoy every last coo and smile (not the gassy ones), every moment, every little face,all the cuddle time you get when they are so small. She is about to be 7 months old and I dont know what happened to all the time it took to get here.

Then my sweet Granny. Love her to pieces. Yes she can get on my nerves, she is set in her own little ways, she gives my kids anything they want and she at times can be very demanding. But I love her.

I however didnt realize how much my life would change when she came to live with us. Yes I knew it would be an adjustment, but I was ready for that. I however didnt realize that it would be a complete life change.

Going to the grocery store for instance, use to be this run it get what I need and get out. For the record I TOTALLY HATE WALMART. I can go and go and go without every going to  Walmart. Before she moved in that is exactly how it was. I would go to the grocery store, I would go by Freds or Family dollar - maybe the occasional Dollar General, but only about once a month would I ever run in Walmart. Not anymore. Going to the store now consist of going to Walmart EVERY SINGLE WEEK. I almost need to take a pill for this trip. There is no RUN IN AND RUN OUT, there is NO LETS GET WHAT WE NEED AND GO, there is no WE DONT REALLY NEED ANYTHING FROM TOWN THIS WEEK, and we are a far cry from LETS JUST RUN IN THE GROCERY STORE AND NOT EVEN GO TO WALMART (what, this would be the end of the world)

Walmart trips usually last anywhere from an hour to and hour and a half (EVERY WEEK) plus if we have to go to the grocery store (BC I will not buy meat at Walmart) then your looking at over 2 hours. Ususally with 3 kids, one of which is a baby and does not like to shop and thinks that she is suppose to be in the bed by 7.

We have tried different days thinking this would shorten the time. We tried Thurday evenings after supper, we have tried Saturday nights thinking that a day at home would prepare me to survive, we tried Saturday mornings but this added a trip to McD's for breakfast (takes even longer bc the kids always wanted to go play and then get mad bc they cant). Currently we are on Friday nights. Which works but only bc I make it.

But I love her and if she gets enjoyment out of going to Walmart then I will try to deal with it and go on. This past week she got sick and was rushed to the hospital. Kinda opened my eyes to the fact that she isnt a spring chicken anymore (82) and that I know her days are numbering down. I could most certainly go before her if God so decided, but age does mean something and I know it is something I cant just ignore.

My life totally was changed bc of this woman. She raised me from the time I was born, and continue to provide for me until the day I married. So it is my turn to take care of her.

Though my life at times feels so overwhelmed with work, cleaning, 3 kids, church, a brother who is struggling to get right, a husband, a grandmother, 3 cats, a dog, trying to find a breathing moment and time to myself, I have no regrets and other than WALMART I have no complaints because all the overwhelming feelings are taken away by the overflowing of love that I have for all of them.

Brings back Memories

I met my dad and my brother Eric on  the Gulf Coast a week ago. We had such a great time. I remember going to the coast every year for summer vacation and sometimes I would get to spend the summer down there. These are some of the best memories I have. I had an aunt who had a pool and after we would leave the beach we would go to her house and swim some more. I remember my dad taking and throwing us in the pool for hours, (was much smaller then).

I remember always going to SHARK HEADS souviner shop when we were down there and always going to the Shipyard where my unlce Doug has worked since before I was born. I love going to the shipyard at night. It is always so lit up and you can see all the boat they are building and knowing that you got to see some of the biggest battle ships before they even float on water, to me it has always been cool. I remember being there right after they brought the ship "THE COLE" into dock for repairs after the terriosts blew a hole in the side of it killing so many sailors. That I will never forget.

After my parents divorced (still stinks) trips were different but still had a great time.

Beaches were always so full and we would stay out all day.

This trip was a little different.

The beaches were not full, years have changed us all alot and now being the mother to small children and experiencing the excitement of your children playing in the sand, and playing in the ocean (somewhat) was all new.

The oil spill stopped a lot of the ocean going fun. We did make it to Gulf Shores and looked for some TAR BALLS (a strange request of my husband since he wasnt able to go) yes we found some, saved them and Gracie is planning on taking them to science lab once school starts.

Sophie got to see the ocean for the first time (and ate the sand). We ate at the famous LULU's in Gulf Shores and of course visited the ship yard where Jake stood in awe of the huge battle ships they were working on getting ready to travel to the war to help fight for our freedom.

In all it was a great trip and I got to spend some great time with my dad and brothers and sister. Me and my dad have had a distance between us for a few years, but God has mended that relationship and I see that some things are not always what others would have you believe.

Here are a few pictures of our trip, Cant wait until next year.